Grief - A Message From Spirit

 What can I say about grief? 

There are no words that can adequately quantify what grief really is. And there is no one  that can fully explain it to us, as we all have our own experiences with grief. 

The grief I want to talk about today is the grief we must endure when a loved one passes away. 

I’ve been watching grief flood in all around us these past few years, including into my own heart.

I hold space as I watch it fill the crevices and dark empty places of our hearts, our minds, our energy fields, and then it takes over all the light places too.  

Grief is so heavy and wraps so tightly around our hearts, our lungs, our stomachs, our throats, our shoulders, and our souls. 

 And the hardest part about grief is you can’t do much to cure it other than sit with it, and slowly learn to navigate what life is without our loved one. 

Story Time...I cried today.
Over the weekend my boyfriend and I were driving up north. We were headed to the lake for a day of amazing weather and hiking with our puppy.

With coffee in hand, we were almost to our destination. We had been laughing and in great spirits all morning long. 

Until the song Dancing In The Sky came on. (https://youtu.be/UR4T0av0o40)
In a little under half a second my body and my heart filled up with grief, and it poured out of my eyes in the form of tears. Lots of tears. 

Not just my own- although many of them were indeed mine.

I was also thinking of my Mom, who I have been watching go through such profound grief after losing her husband, there are no words.

I thought of my cousin, and a long time friend, who are both experiencing one of the most unimaginable types of grief- that of losing a child.

I thought of my boyfriend’s Mom who recently lost her brother, and his aunt who lost her husband of 40+ years. 

I cried for you, and some of your neighbors.

For the parents and community that are currently dealing with unfathomable grief and such a massive loss right now.

And all the other people around the world who have had to walk through similar loss.  

You may not know this about me, because I do much of this work silently, but I am a medium, and space-holder for grief. And if you are currently grieving a loss and feel drawn to me or my writing, it’s likely because I have space I can hold for you.

And if that is the case, feel free to send me a message, I will send energy back to you, and I will gladly hold space for you. 

Back to this song that made me cry today... 
Around June of last year, Spirit led me to play this song over and over and over again for about a month.
The more I listened, the more I knew my guide team was preparing me for something.
As I played this song again and again, I began to register what the loss of a loved one would feel like. Although I had been holding space and giving mediumship readings, personally I had not yet experienced losing many people close to me. 
After about a month of this song on repeat, I felt called to stop listening. I got the download I needed, I suppose. 

August of 2021 we lost my step dad. He had been a parent to me for the last 20+ years. There for all the moments. My high school graduation all the way up to my son's high school graduation 20 years later and everything in between.  

The feeling was just as indescribable as I had experienced from listening to that song... and so much more. So surreal. It's an entirely different world you step into, and life as you know it comes to a disturbingly abrupt end. 
But, now I had a deeper understanding as to what spirit was preparing me for. 

 
Being Spirit Led...
Spirit has been leading me in several different ways to hold space for others who are experiencing loss. I've been guided to provide unique ways to support people in their grief, especially when the traditional ways just aren’t doing the trick.  
One of those nudges from spirit came while I was out hiking the lake. I kept getting the call to provide more grief support, and this time, support comes in the form of this blog post. 

I'd like to share a few things I've learned from doing so many mediumship readings, and working with so many different spirits.

I'd like to talk about guilt, and what happens to our loved ones when they pass. 

Grief is unfortunately one of those things we can’t cure, we can only endure. 

My words will not ease the pain and the loss you feel. Nor do I expect them to. However, my hope is that someone may find a sliver of comfort, knowing what happens to their loved one after they pass away.  If this blog reaches just one person, and eases even a tiny portion of worry for that one person, then it did its job. 

 (Note: This is from my perspective and my experience from working closely with spirit over the past few years. Your views and experiences may differ from mine, and that is perfectly OK. It doesn’t make me wrong, and it doesn’t make you wrong. Feel free to take what resonates, and leave what doesn’t.)

What happens to someone’s spirit when they pass away? 
Their spirit lives on. And they gain much deeper insight than they had while here in the physical world. 

That means they gain the understanding of why everything that ever happened to them in their life, happened. Including their departure. They see the “contracts” made with their soul family (even the ‘bad’ players in the game), and they understand why the contracts were made. 

Unfortunately, we don’t always get that same understanding here in the physical world. And that is why I want to share my experience with spirit and death. Perhaps it will provide just a tiny bit of solace to those that are grieving.  

Spirit has shown me time and again that no matter what a person did, went through, or how they lived or passed away, when they leave this physical world, they gain the understandings and insights that comes from being in the spirit world. Insight we couldn't even imagine while in our human form. 

After working with spirit for some time, my belief is WE choose our own karma, or whether or not we even want any.  (This is just my personal belief and what I have been shown. It may bump up against someone else's belief system. Just know that I honor you and your truth as much as I honor my own.)  Regardless of the life we lead, we can choose to do our life review and keep ascending. Or we can choose to reincarnate. Or we can choose to be stuck in place. No matter how we pass away, or what we were doing or not doing. I believe, and have been shown that we do get that choice. 

One of the other things I feel called to share is that our loved ones who are now on the other side also don’t feel pain like they did when they were in the physical world. 

The guilt we carry when a loved one passes away...

Not only do I see the grief you are drowning in, but I see the heavy burdens of guilt you put on your shoulders. I see the thoughts of: “I could have stopped them, I could have helped them, I should have been there, I should have known, I didn’t do enough, it’s my fault, did they know how much I loved them?.”  (The answer to that last one is a resounding yes.) 

Again, what I am about to say doesn’t take away from the loss we must endure, but my hope is that it will provide you a moment of comfort, especially to those who have been taking on extra grief through guilt. 

Tough subject coming up… 

I have given readings to families who have lost loved ones to suicide. There is one reading that always stands out to me. It was the very first time I a spirit came to me who passed from suicide. The family didn't tell me how this person passed, but the spirit did.  I was able to share with this deeply grieving family who were also drowning in guilt, that their son’s spirit was alive and well.
He wanted them to know he was dancing a little jig, light on his feet, unencumbered. He really wanted to convey to his family that he could now help them so much more in this way, than he’d ever be able to in the physical world. He was really really happy about that. He was, in fact, orchestrating quite a bit to support his family from the other side. 

I once did a reading for a family grieving the loss of their little girl who passed from a terminal illness. The spirit of this 10 year old beautiful soul showed herself sitting with me at my kitchen table and we had one of the most vibrant conversations that I had ever had with any spirit ever. She was such a strong communicator and we had a full on conversation. She was happy, and free, and came through because she didn’t want her parents to spend another day drowning in guilt thinking they didn’t do enough for their little girl. We, in our human form, don't understand it. But this wise soul understood that it was her time to go, and wanted her parents to know that as well, so they could begin their healing process by letting the guilt go. The confirmation that they did all they could (and then some), and there was nothing more to be done. 

Spirit has shown me many times, they never want you to feel guilt. For any reason. Guilt over not being there, not doing enough, if you did the right thing with their remains, or their belongings. These are the things I see eating up so many people all the time.

Spirit is asking you to release the burden of guilt.
They love you, and they want nothing more than for you to find happiness again.

I’ve done a number of readings for people who have spent months, (and in most cases years and even decades!) carrying the burden of guilt on their shoulders for not being there in the room, or at the moment their loved one passed away. 

 And in every single one of these readings spirit has confirmed the same thing each time. 

If we weren’t there at the time of someone's passing, it was because it was orchestrated that way... for whatever reason that is most often beyond our human understanding.
But the message from spirit is the same each time.
They want nothing more than for you to put that guilt down.

Even if you are willing to release just a small bit of that with me today. Go ahead and leave some of it here with me. I can take it. What would that mean for you if you could let that burden go?  

It may mean that you could begin, or lean further into your healing journey.  

Signs From Spirit...
The other thing spirit is asking me to share is that they ARE in fact bringing you signs and symbols. When something draws your attention, almost as if your eyes were guided to look at something at just the right moment, and you instantly think of your loved one- it's them. 
If you ask a question and you get that immediate answer- you didn’t just make it up.
If you feel, see, sense, or smell your loved one- they are there.
If your loved one visits you in a dream- they indeed visited you during that dream.

If you wonder whether or not you can communicate with your departed loved one- yes, you sure can. 
If you wonder whether your loved one in spirit is happy or not- they indeed are. 

*And if a spirit does happen to be in a stuck space, there are lots of people like me in the world who can help them complete their crossover process. In fact it's also something I teach my mediumship and academy students to do. 

I hope that you found a moment of reprieve or support today. 

I hold a special place in my heart for helping others through their grief. 
I’d love to answer any questions you may have about grief, spirit, loss. 
Email me with any questions: [email protected]. 

Sending you love, encouragement, healing, release and support.

And holding my hands out for you to drop some of your guilt or grief off with me as you “head out the door”.

All the love & strength in grief,
Jenn