When It All Falls Apart (aka The Part Right Before It All Falls Together)
By The Manifesting Medium, aka Your Favorite Chaos-Conquering Boss Witch
How many times do we actually stop mid-breakdown and ask ourselves:
"Wait… is this a manifestation in progress… or am I just an emotional roller coaster and spiritually confused right now?"
Let’s be real.
Most of the time, we don’t pause.
We don’t intuitively check the energy of the chaos.
We don’t ask:
🌪 "Is this falling apart so my manifestation can fall together?"
🔮 "Is this happening for me, not to me?"
🧹 "What sacred mess is being cleared out so something better can land?"
👁️🗨️ "What the hell am I not seeing yet?"
Nope.
We get swept right up in the current of the currant (yes, I did see what I did there—thank you for noticing).
We let the emotions of the “I-hate-this-and-I-want-to-panic” moment drive the damn car.
We let the version of ourselves that’s addicted to comfort, allergic to uncertainty, and totally unqualified to lead take the wheel.
And the part of us that actually knows how to manifest miracles?
Yeah, she gets stuffed in the glove compartment with the emergency crystals and expired essential oil roller blends.
And listen…
I say this with zero judgment. Because I, your very own Manifesting Medium—who quite literally built a life and business on magic, intuition, and intentional creation—have been there.
Recently. Repeatedly. Real ugly.
Let’s talk about it.
The past few years?
STRUGGLE CITY, population: me.
Losing both my dads, other family members, and a long-time friend was like being handed a punch card to the grief train that just kept stamping stops.
Every time I thought I could breathe, the next wave hit. It felt like the Universe said, “Let’s just press every single heartbreak button on her dashboard at once and see what happens.”
And if that wasn’t enough, I took some soul-numbing jobs that made my spirit shrivel up like a sage leaf on fire. I backslid into patterns I thought I had healed.
Old beliefs, old habits, old identities came creeping back like toxic exes saying, “You up?”
And here’s the thing—it was all awful.
But it was also kind of… holy.
Because no matter how far I fall, how broken I feel, or how messy it gets—there’s always this one thing I know:
I will rise.
I always come back to my magic.
And, more often than not, I still get what I want.
(Usually right after I’ve ugly cried into a cup of coffee and done some serious shadow journaling.)
Some manifestations come fast—like, did-the-Universe-just-Prime-ship-this-to-me fast.
Others take their sweet cosmic time.
But in the end?
They always land. And everything always ends up working in my favor.
Even the stuff that initially looked like a celestial slap in the face.
Here’s where it gets real witchy…
Not only was I grieving loved ones, I was also shedding old versions of me.
Dying little deaths, one limiting belief at a time.
And THEN… just to spice things up:
My husband and I finally manifested something we’d been dreaming about for years—traveling for work.
Dreams, meet reality.
Reality, meet chaos.
Let me give you the highlight reel:
🩼 Started with an injury.
🩺 One of us got a kidney stone (would not recommend).
🤧 Followed by a sickness that lasted two month.
💀 Months of sinus headaches that made me question if I was cursed.
💸 Lost $4300 in a sketchy short term rental deal.
🏡 Couldn’t sell our property for 5 months longer than expected.
🛠 The work we manifested? Not what we hoped for.
🤹♀️ Contract jobs changed repeatedly before actually getting started.
📦 Moved too many times.
👚 Brought way too much stuff (spiritually and physically—The Journey Home vibes, anyone?).
🔥 Landed in a new rental where the heat died seven times in winter.
SEVEN. TIMES.
Like... why, Universe? Was this an initiation? Was I being played? Where was my magical ascension ceremony and sparkly confetti?
But okay.
Let me not be too dramatic.
There were wins, too.
✨ We saw beautiful new places.
🧭 We got crystal-clear clarity on what we want and don’t want.
💰 We received abundance in all kinds of unexpected ways.
🧾 I paid off a mountain of debt.
🌈 And I learned more about resilience than I ever thought possible.
But let’s not bypass the suckage.
Because the suckage was real.
And if you’re in that phase right now—if you’re like, “Damn Jenn, it’s me. I’m the one ugly crying into my coffee”—let me tell you something with love, with sass, and with all the magic in my bones:
Don’t you dare quit in the chaos.
Don’t you dare crown the breakdown as the ending.
It’s the middle, babe.
The tower moment is a promise, not a punishment.
It’s saying: Everything that can’t come with you is being stripped away so that everything you asked for can land.
But you have to sit in the fire sometimes.
You have to release the relationships, patterns, places, and personas that are literally weighing your magic and manifestations down.
Yes, even the ones that feel familiar.
Yes, even the ones that seem “not that bad.”
Yes, even the stuff you lowkey prayed for but have since outgrown.
You can love people and still choose to walk away.
You can appreciate the lessons and still burn the contract.
You can be terrified and still leap into your next-level self.
This is the season of becoming.
Becoming bolder.
Becoming braver.
Becoming the version of you who can handle the manifestation and the maintenance of it.
You’re not broken. You’re becoming.
You’re not behind. You’re being prepared.
And if you’re craving a space where you can rebuild, reconnect, and remember your power among other boss-ass witches who get it?
Come join us.
We're building a new kind of community over here.
One that blends magic and real life.
One that celebrates breakdowns, breakthroughs, boundaries, and bold-ass intentions.
One where practicality and potions are welcome.
One where you can be seen in your struggle, honored in your healing, and cheered on like a queen in your comeback.
So if you’re done with toxic dynamics, soul-draining circles, and low-vibe energy...
✨ Come sit at the table with us.
✨ Bring your chaos.
✨ Bring your magic.
✨ Bring your whole-ass self.
We’ve got you.
And your next-level life?
It’s already assembling behind the scenes.
If you want to dive a little deeper check out any of my Guidebooks or Journals! Affordable holistic self-care!
MONEY CODES PLAYBOOK
NAVIGATE ANXIETY LIKE A WITCH
🔮 Love Yourself Like a Witch – A Magical Guide to Self-Love & Empowerment 🔮
The Shadow Manifestation Method: Unlock the Missing Link Between Healing & Manifesting ✨
The Chaos Alchemist – Manifesting When Your Life is a Mess
INTENTIONAL LIVING AND CONSCIOUS CREATION.
Join me inside the Wayward Magic Academy, where we blend emotional mastery, spiritual tools, and manifestation practices into one powerful journey. Let’s walk this path together—through the shadow and into the light.
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